Murica’s Next Top Model: Phil Kessel

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Phil Kessel
Photo: YakovMironov

Earlier today we were gifted this most glamourous of shots. Wyatt Arndt has set the bar pretty high with his Kesselquin Romance series, but that’s no reason we can’t pile on. If you want to join the photochopping party, hack away at the picture above. Below is my “Phil Kessel is America” series, and a couple of bonus chops. If you’re feeling up to it throw yours in the comment section.

A slightly less ridiculous American Uniform

My Spirit Animal

Was there ever any doubt who the Greatest American Hero is?

Phil Kessel, Fuck Yeah!

And now a few leftovers

Breaking Bozak?

I’ve just always thought Phil Kessel resembles a Peanuts character

A commentary on the contract negotiation process?

Always badass.

  • Komas Taberle

    Someone should photoshop Miley Cirus’ body with Seguin’s face twerking Phil, that would be hilarious.

  • wiski

    TheCanucksnaphook I’m sober and I like it. lol

  • Conis

    kessel boy  
    i get the humor but i cant laugh at it  :)

  • thelongroad

    Hey Wiski got hockey streams ready to go, cant wait thanx for the help.

  • mcloki

    Poor Phil.

  • JustYouW8

    Is it just me or has his conditioning been so improved that he looks even pudgier..

  • skiingallday

    These TSN folk are putting together a terrible team. Thank god they’re not managing. IMO St. Louis and Stammer should both be on a line together.
    Neal – Crosby -Giroux
    Tavares- Stammer – St. Louis
    Hall- Toews – Nash
    Staal – Staal – Bergeron

    Perry – Getz
    I’m gonna skip Defense since I’m lazy and go for Goalies
    Luongo
    Crawford
    Holtby
    Hon. meniton
    Reimer

  • skiingallday

    And hockeydb has kessel listed as a Center…… wtf?

  • Xxxxxnew

    Top points over the past three years
    1 Steven Stamkos 245
    2 M. St. Louis 233
    3 Henrik Sedin 220
    4 Claude Giroux 217
    5 Daniel Sedin 211
    6 A. Ovechkin 206
    7 Eric Staal 199
    8 Phil Kessel 198

  • Zep2

    Xxxxxnew Narrow it down to the last 2 and he  goes higher

  • Bon Scott was a Leaf fan

    JustYouW8 
    Whoa…look at that….another muppet.

  • Alec Brownscombe

    We do this out of love. I f’n love Phil Kessel.

  • Waiting4LSC

    What number in the line are you, good sir?

  • .JVR.

    Wow, those American jerseys are pretty horrendous!!

  • Dangle_My_Berries

    hilarious!

  • .JVR.

    skiingallday 
    Hall   –   Crosby   –   Perry
    Tavares   –   Stamkos   –   St. Louis
    E. Staal   –   Toews   –   Giroux
    Couture   –   Bergeron   –   Nash
    (Getzlaf and Carter)

    Keith   –   Doughty
    Phaneuf   –   Weber
    Staal   –   Pietrangelo
    (Bouwmeester and Subban)

    Luongo
    Price
    (Ward)

  • Dangle_My_Berries

    sick USA hockey using the BeDazzler on their new uniforms…

  • LeafsForLife

    Great stuff! Very funny! Awesome work guys!

  • MaxwellHowe

    How can Nonis say no to a mug like that?

  • Burtonboy

    14 days till camp opens :)))

  • Zep2

    Burtonboy Yeah, but who’s counting lol

  • Burtonboy

    Zep2 Burtonboy I am obviously . Got a brand new 80″ LED yesterday just waiting to play a hockey game so yeah I’m counting lol

  • Zep2

    Burtonboy Zep2 Actually Ive keeping track using your updates. Let the games begin. Enjoy the new TV

  • Burtonboy

    Zep2 Burtonboy Looking forward to it . Man that’s one big ass screen lol

  • Mind Bomb

    Good morning Folks

  • Mind Bomb

    Burtonboy Zep2 Congrats BB you were wanting that

  • Burtonboy

    Mind Bomb Burtonboy Zep2 I’ve been looking at that thing since it 1st showed up at Costco last spring . The price certainly came down like I thought it would since then . Sticker price yesterday was 3798.00 so it was worth waiting till this fall. Came down almost a thousand bucks

  • Burtonboy

    Mind Bomb Top of the morning to ya

  • Mind Bomb

    Burtonboy Mind Bomb Zep2  I remember, Because I had just bought a 60 inch, and we were talking then, the 80 was out of my price range, well the range my wife was letting me spend lol
     I love the smart TV’s, I watch you tube videos of the Leafs on it by pushing a button

  • Burtonboy

    Mind Bomb Burtonboy Zep2 Looking forward to having all these internet features  I have to wait till my son comes up from Saint John this weekend to get it all hooked up. Too dam big for me to handle myself.

  • Mind Bomb

    Burtonboy Mind Bomb Zep2 Aye bro, a good problem to have lol. I had to source outside help as well to figure out Netflix and all this new Fangled technology lol

  • Burtonboy

    Mind Bomb Burtonboy Zep2 That side of it I can usually figure out myself but he’s much better at it then I am for sure  . Its just manhandling the dam thing into place more then anything  lol.

  • dlb eh

    Xxxxxnew 
    see, this is why we he’s a complimentary player.  he needs to be in that 200 points club for us to have a chance to win a Cup.  right now we’re just spinning our wheels, and it’ll be another 10 years of playoff hockey with no Cups before we can start the proper rebuild.  or, if we trade Kessel and Phaneuf we can start now!  this is so frustrating, no one understands.

  • Mind Bomb

    Murph2417  Morning Murph

  • dlb eh

    Murph2417 Xxxxxnew 
    hey, i like Lupul

  • dlb eh

    Burtonboy Zep2 
    VIEWMONGOUS

  • dlb eh

    Murph2417 dlb eh 
    (i know, i’m just being negative about everything until the others arrive to assume the role)

  • Leafs rule

    Mornin men and ladies ,no Im not callin u men ladies ,is it me but doeas Phill the thrill look lighter in those pics

  • leafscapguru

    Phil is the man! Moring everyone

  • leafscapguru

    My prediction of the day, I think Franson signs today or Tomorrow….

  • Burtonboy

    Murph2417 leafscapguru Every day that passes the pressure on both sides goes up another notch. Some one will blink pretty soon.

  • Leafs rule

    Murph2417 leafscapguru either  one today and tomorrow the other is ok by me lol

  • MaxwellHowe

    Poor Phil’s got an early start to a comb over.

  • MaxwellHowe

    Burtonboy Murph2417 leafscapguru From Franson’s perspective, it would be risky to hold out and risk losing his spot on the top 6.

  • Burtonboy

    Murph2417 Burtonboy He could clear out an extra 2.7 mil if they go with a 20 man roster lol. Looking more and more like its going to have to be something like that if they want to get both of them signed.

  • LightmyLeaf

    Burtonboy Murph2417 I think there is a deal in the midst…..or Lyles get waiver wired…..I think its a worth while trade off, if the Leafs have to do it to get the pair signed. For someone like the islanders though, is it not better to cut a deal then to pluck from the wire?

  • leafscapguru

    MaxwellHowe Burtonboy Murph2417 leafscapguru I think these 2 see that no offer sheets are coming and the season is starting soon. nobody wants to sit at home and lose there spot and star power

  • leafscapguru

    LightmyLeaf Burtonboy Murph2417 maybe JML said no to a trade to the islanders

  • dlb eh

    Murph2417 dlb eh 
    i tried to compliment him once for that, but he told me how wrong i was

  • dlb eh

    MaxwellHowe 
    not only a member